Chapter 3

Extend your hand

I am simply puzzled; I have only heard that alcohol can awaken someone, but I have never heard that urine can also scare someone away. Truly, how strange this is.

After a moment, the toilet nearby softly replied, "Oh, I'm coming."

Helplessly, I found myself unable to express many thoughts, so I could only let her help me change my clothes. Standing in front of the dressing mirror, I looked at my eyes that seemed to want to say something yet held back, and then at my chest that seemed to betray me. I finally let out a deep sigh: Oh, green hedge, are you women truly foolish, or do you think we men are blind?

Oh no! Could it be that I was caught peeking at them while they were bathing?

Ultimately, I was compelled by the green hedge to take the medicine, and then I continued to sit on my couch, feigning my calm demeanor

I lowered my head to glance at that black medicinal concoction, and instantly felt overwhelmed. In fact, I am not afraid of taking medicine; it is just the thought that this medicine will make my chest larger, my waist slimmer, and my voice softer that frightens me.

Having finished speaking, I was afraid that Lvy would ask further questions, so I hurriedly walked ahead, taking large strides and immediately feeling refreshed. Lvy chased after me for half a street before finally stopping, panting and shouting: "Mother—ah, young master, please slow down!"

... ...

Speaking of beauties, it instantly evokes sorrowful memories. These enchanting and exquisite beauties can only be gazed upon longingly, and I cannot even touch them, which truly torments me.

Ah! What an enticing prospect

This is fine as well; I truly am not prepared to face this boss, and I even wish that we would never meet again in this lifetime. I really want to tell that brother: Rest assured, I will take good care of this beautiful lady in the palace for you.

Crown Prince Qi Sheng has not been seen since; it is said that he went directly from Xingsheng Palace to the northern military camp that day

After thinking about it for several days, I still couldn't come up with a beginning or a theme for the book. As I watched various beautiful women swaying in front of me, I could no longer remain calm. One day, after dinner, I discussed with Green Hedge: "I wish to secretly leave the palace today."

Slow down? If I slow down even more, won't you just catch up with me

I suddenly felt a sense of clarity; it is indeed refreshing to converse with an intelligent person. I truly want to ask him if he is interested in changing jobs and simply follow me back to the Eastern Palace to serve as a eunuch. The Eastern Palace is in need of someone with his talents!

Before she finished speaking, I was already blushing and feeling embarrassed, quickly covering my face and leaving in a fluster. However, unwilling to accept this, I found a luxurious restaurant and instructed the waiter who approached me: "I would like to treat someone to a meal, please arrange a nice place for us, and also find two young ladies to sing for us."

The palace maid, holding a bowl of medicine, quietly entered from outside the hall. She squatted down beside me and softly said: "Your Highness, it is time for your medicine."

I pondered to myself that this was sufficient, after all, it was getting dark and late, and continuing further would serve no purpose, only adding to my troubles. So, I simply rewarded the singing girl, settled the bill, and, feeling a bit tipsy from the drink, hummed the little tune I had just heard as I walked out.

Eighteen Touches? Isn't that just the little tune I was humming a moment ago? I couldn't help but feel disdain in my heart; they are truly two naive youngsters, getting so excited over something like Eighteen Touches.

I still felt a bit uneasy, so just before entering, I quickly called the waiter over, glanced around, and instructed, "Uh... it needs to be someone lively and a bit bold." I then patted his shoulder, chuckled softly, and said, "Uh... you understand.

In fact, I am considering the career planning for the position of "Crown Princess" on m.hetushu.com. How can one steadily rise from the Crown Princess to the throne of Empress Dowager? Ideally, I would also like to be a young widow, learning from predecessors such as Empress Lü and Empress Wu... perhaps engaging in regency and then wielding power over the world while enjoying the company of beautiful women.

Sigh, I will say nothing more; let us leave the palace for now

Then, the effects of the alcohol completely dissipated

I chuckled: "Isn't it still possible to go in? Why the rush?"

... ...

After waiting for a while in the water pavilion, the dishes had not yet been served, when the girl who sang arrived. As she sang a little tune and we sipped some wine, the discomfort I had felt in recent days seemed to be blown away by the wind, leaving me completely at ease. How should I put it? In terms of appearance, this singing girl could not compare to the beauties in the Eastern Palace, but she excelled in charm. There was no rush to hold hands, no annoyance in sipping wine, and in just a short while, I found myself pleasantly tipsy.

Alas

In the palace, incense is burning, and I sit quietly on the concubine's couch, my expression calm, yet my heart is in turmoil.

3. The Wind Emperor: Looking at him with sympathy, he asked: Is it still unresolved? Is it frequent urination, urgent urination, and incomplete urination? Have you tried Prostate ×?

Because the restaurant is of a high standard, the restroom is relatively clean. Perhaps to prevent guests from falling into the pit, there is even an oil lamp lit inside. Although it does not provide clear illumination, it is better than nothing. I couldn't help but exclaim: Truly, it is people-oriented

I was taken aback, still unable to react, when I heard the old woman sigh: "Alas, since ancient times, men have been ungrateful. Here they are, with such a beautiful wife, yet they still seek pleasure elsewhere. Men, oh men!"

I asked several people along the way and finally found the place where one could enjoy flower wine. However, I paced back and forth at the entrance four or five times, yet I still didn't dare to go in. With my current physique, how could I just walk in casually? What if I ended up gaining nothing and instead let others take advantage of me? What would I do then?

Perhaps the old lady selling candy on the street noticed that I had been lingering for quite some time, and finally couldn't help but ask: "Young lady, are you here to catch your husband?"

... ... ''

Thus, gazing sincerely at the green hedge, I inquired: "Is it possible not to drink?"

I let out a long sigh, not even having time to fasten my belt, and first freed my hands to wipe the sweat. Alas, it turns out that the toilet is the true embodiment of calmness.

At the palace gate, the green hedge called for the sedan chair to come over, and they directly assisted me into the chair

The toilet god is watching me, and I am looking at the wall

It must be said that the waiter possesses professional qualities. With just this one sentence, the person understood. He smiled at me, blinked his eyes, and replied, "Rest assured, sir, I know!"

At this difficult moment, someone suddenly shouted from outside the toilet: "Brother Jiu, have you fallen in? Why aren't you coming out?"

Mr. Toilet smiled and said, "Oh, good, let's go listen."

Alas, green hedge, how can I express this? The urge to urinate is fundamentally different from the desire for wine, it cannot be accumulated!

The fragrance of osmanthus flowers surrounds the elder sister

The green hedge looked at me, quite astonished: "Aren't you going back to the residence?"

But, Lihui, why are you getting me two sets of clothes? Did I ever say I would take you along?

The green hedge was helpless; just as the cloak was fastened around me, my face was still uncovered. Suddenly, I became anxious and urged the green hedge, "Hurry, hurry, quickly return to the palace!"

I quickened my pace, turning back to the green hedge and said, "You don't need to follow me anymore; just go home and wait. I will return on my own when the time comes"

2. Indifferent Emperor: Fasten your belt, turn around, and leave with the book and the picture. What does it matter to you whether I take out an object or what kind of object I take out?

After this scare, the effects of the alcohol and the urge to urinate completely vanished. I fastened my belt, adjusted my robe, and continued humming my little tune as I confidently walked out.

Touching you, sister

However, I have never been one to engage in disputes with others. Seeing that he was unwilling to yield, I simply stood by the side, indifferent to why he continued to stare at me intently. I merely lifted my robe to reach for something. But as I rummaged and rummaged for quite a while, I was unable to produce any item. Suddenly, a string in my mind snapped, and in an instant, cold sweat poured down.

The Laba porridge was simmering, fragrant and glutinous. I was happily slurping from my bowl when Lvying hurriedly entered from outside the hall. Without a word, she snatched my bowl of porridge away, and then with a graceful wave of her delicate hand, a group of palace maids rushed in behind her, surrounding me immediately.

Returning to the residence? After leaving the Eastern Palace, I will enter the Ministry of Personnel? Why should I make myself uncomfortable like this

There was a brother standing there relieving himself, and I didn't pay much attention; I just walked over and said, "Brother, make way."

After speaking, he no longer looked at me, calmly collected the birds into the cage, and turned to leave

The green hedge is indeed the trusted aide of the Zhang family; with just this one sentence and in a matter of moments, two sets of attire were brought to me. At that moment, I deeply realized that when it comes to pleasing the boss, she is far more skilled than I am

The voices of two people outside gradually faded away: "Ninth Brother, hurry up, everyone is waiting. They said they found a wonderful person today who will sing 'Eighteen Touches.' Let's go and listen too"

Oh my dear green hedge, the jujubes are of no use, but if you could let me smell you, it would be more effective than a plate of jujubes

The green hedge is only a reminder of my bitterness, as I hurriedly pass the small dish of preserved fruits in front of me, saying: "There are freshly arrived honey dates; if you eat one, you will no longer feel the bitterness."

Little did I know that the person would not move an inch, but merely turned their head to look at me

Where is this going

Several strategies flashed through my mind

Touching the top of the elder sister's head, oh dear

I casually glanced at him; he looked somewhat familiar, though I couldn't recall where I had seen him. Sigh, it doesn't matter; even if I did know him, it would be from a past life, so I won't think about it!

He continued to stare at me in a daze. I glanced down at his object again and thought to myself, it's not much bigger than mine, so what are you so proud of?

As soon as the talent stepped out of the water pavilion, he suddenly felt an urgent need to relieve himself. Therefore, he inquired with the attendant about the location of the restroom and hurried towards it.

On the 8th day of the twelfth lunar month, Crown Prince Qi Sheng returned to Shengdu from the northern military camp.

No need, I would like to walk by myself

Alas, this detestable Star Lord of Fate

Having spoken, I hurriedly took a few steps and turned the corner, completely leaving the green hedge behind. Oh green hedge, it is not that I do not understand the value of cherishing beauty, but the place I am going to truly cannot accommodate you.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the person was still looking at me with their head turned.

1. The Calm Emperor: Take a few sheets of paper, turn around and squat down, and relieve oneself. I do not believe he can still lie on the ground and look at whether I have a small member.

But this is just something to think about; even if I had two more guts, I wouldn't dare to say it

Upon returning to the palace gate, I saw Lvyu anxiously pacing in circles. As soon as she noticed my return, she hurried over and whispered, "My lady, why have you only just returned? The palace gate is about to close!"

The green hedge stared at me blankly, utterly perplexed.

The young attendant immediately responded, "Certainly! Please come in. Inside, there is a lakeside pavilion with beautiful scenery and an elegant environment. A singing girl will be called to entertain you shortly."